banana peel

banana peel / words and pictures #1
 
I sat on the back stairs, feeling great after a vigorous walk. Took my shoes off, freed my toes, soaked up the sun and ate this banana.
 
Life felt complete in that moment. 
 
I wonder why we make life so complicated. Why can’t it be as simple as sunshine and barefoot banana eating?
 
My grandfather had a brain tumor so they cut out part of his prefrontal cortex. This is where most of our higher-level thinking happens. Stuff like, 'I'm happy, I'm sad, what does it all mean etc.'
 
I was very young at the time so all I can really remember of him during this time is that when we went to visit him in hospital he smelt of urine.
 
According to the stories of family members he became a much nicer person after his lobotomy. Less angry, friendlier, softer.
 
I wonder if he felt happier? 
 
Or maybe he didn’t feel much at all?
 
And maybe that’s what made him into a nicer person?
 
I guess that’s why so many of us will go through moments, days, weeks, years… sometimes lifetimes, of numbing all that incoming data any way possible. 
 
I’ve dabbled in various forms of numbing over the years. And what I found is that yes it can be pretty great short term, but it’s a bit like when my kids spend time on their screens... They are happy and completely absorbed while on, but when they’re off it’s as though all that energy and emotion they would have been processing is still there needing to be worked through.
 
So any form of numbing is just a delay. Probably even for Grandpa and his lobotomy. He'll have stuff to work through next life.

I guess life can be simple barefoot banana eating. And so much more too. Sometimes fun and enjoyable. Sometimes bloody horrible. And the trick is in coming to a place where we can be equally okay with both ends of the spectrum. Knowing that the only real alternative is total numbness which is pretty boring. 
 
Bet you didn’t think a picture of banana peel was headed for a story about a lobotomy? That's the great thing about our brains or minds or intellects or whatever it is that takes in information from the world and makes meaning out of it.
 
It’s an incredibly creative process. It’s unexpected, unique. There are literally infinite possibilities for thoughts and meaning from moment to moment and person to person. And everything mixes, blends and interrelates. For example, this little story will be in your head now and it’s possible that next time you look at a banana peel you might think about brain surgery. 
  
And maybe I should really thank The Velvet Underground for being inspired by a banana, because I’ve just realised it reminds me of this album cover.
 
And this would have been the perfect song for that moment in the sun, eating a banana.